My Catholic past always catches up with me.
As a 7 year old I couldn't swallow Jesus.
Despite the nun's ruthless coaxing, bribing, and downright physical torture, I gagged everytime Jesus was anywhere near my mouth.
In a class of 42 kids, I had a violent resistance to Jesus.
My first holy communion was looming and even after-school-swallowing-classes were not sufficient to get that thing down me.
The head nun was perplexed as to what to do with this demonic child.
But the inevitible meeting-with-my-maker-in-the-mouth must go on, and I was lined up.
Without the slightest choke, hack, hawk, spit up, or gag, I received the grace of this sacrament and the resistance against grave temptations and grievous sin.
The truth is that I did infact take Jesus in the mouth, but on returning to my seat, head bowed, I slipped him out and put him in my pocket.
Jesus, you just weren't doing it for me.
But grave temptations and grievous sin...now there is something I can get my tongue around.
Anyone have a story about their Catholic schooling?
Love to hear it.
As a 7 year old I couldn't swallow Jesus.
Despite the nun's ruthless coaxing, bribing, and downright physical torture, I gagged everytime Jesus was anywhere near my mouth.
In a class of 42 kids, I had a violent resistance to Jesus.
My first holy communion was looming and even after-school-swallowing-classes were not sufficient to get that thing down me.
The head nun was perplexed as to what to do with this demonic child.
But the inevitible meeting-with-my-maker-in-the-mouth must go on, and I was lined up.
Without the slightest choke, hack, hawk, spit up, or gag, I received the grace of this sacrament and the resistance against grave temptations and grievous sin.
The truth is that I did infact take Jesus in the mouth, but on returning to my seat, head bowed, I slipped him out and put him in my pocket.
Jesus, you just weren't doing it for me.
But grave temptations and grievous sin...now there is something I can get my tongue around.
Anyone have a story about their Catholic schooling?
Love to hear it.
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SF Bay Area
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Re: Swallow Jesus, dammit!
Mon, March 6, 2006 - 10:43 PMAs a child I smuggled Jesus out in my "Welcome Back Carter" lunch box in order to give "jesus" to a Jewish friend who wanted to know what communion tasted like.
I wrote the whole story in my zine which is entitled "The Body of Christ is in my Sweat Hogs Lunch Box". If you want a copy you can privately send me your address and I would be happy to send it to you.
